beatings of my heart

"fill your page with the beatings of your heart" --william wordsworth

3.08.2005

chemical reactions

I'm done with this infatuation stuff. Seriously. I hate it.

I hardly know this guy, but just being in his presence causes all kinds of strange things to happen. A glimpse of him starts my heart beating wildly. Being in him for an extended period of time makes my feet and hands sweat. Lovely, eh? This causes multiple problems related to shaking hands and walking in flip-flops.

This chemical reaction scares me to death. Why is it happening? Why does it only happen around him in particular? Why am I so out of control?

However, the reactions are not merely detrimental. I also have an amazing feeling of happiness and peace after a conversation. I can't stop smiling for hours and hours, and weeks later I still find myself smiling occasionally upon remembering.

Love may not only be a chemical reaction, but it certainly is aided by it.

3.04.2005

think of me

think of me, think of me fondly,
when we've said good-bye
remember me, once in a while,
please promise me you'll try!
when you find
that once again you long
to take your heart back and be free...
if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me

think of all the things we've shared and seen
don't think about the things which might have been

think of me, think of me waking,
silent and resigned
imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind
recall those days,
look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do
there will never be a day when I won't think of you.

we never said
our love was evergreen
or as unchanging as the sea,
but please promise me that sometimes
you will think of me
--from Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera